angels! thats what you are, I was this close to losin it this afternoon, this friggin close. Its funny how some days you feel like you're in total control and then the devil sneaks one up on ya.. a day like the one i had today.. totally throws you off balance, shakes your confidence and makes you wanna break down and cry. I've been there baby.. that miserable place where all you can do is cry and you feel like you died and whats left is a useless empty shell that will crack under the slightest weight. That feeling of helplessness, its simply paralysing and Oh Boy! i dun want none of that no more seriously i do not wanna go back down that road. I guess its time like this, shitty times like this where you sit down and re-evaluate your life you tell yourself whats important and whats not, if its really not that important to you, then tOss It AsIdE!! Dun give a flammin rat's ass about it no more seriously! you know what else about days like this are worth cherishing? You can SO FeEL the LoVe.. times like this let you realise not only whats important, but WHO's important. Once you single out those people, cherish them man.. take out the hook and chains, duct tape, bolts and stapler guns cause you dun wanna ever lose them.. and you do the right thing k.. go up to em when you have the chance, and you tell them how much it means that they bothered to put their own worries on pause just so you can feel like your troubles are more important..and the next time its their turn to feel absolutely shitty, you make sure your worries go into auto-pause mode as well.. You Make Sure!!
I used to feel unworthy of my friends, actually i still do but for different reasons.. i never understood how someone as dowdy looking as i was could have friends that were popular and babes and model students..i often thought of myself as the Screech character from Saved by the Bell.. you know how those teen shows always have the in gang and then a geeky one who is kinda part of their group but whom everyone only knew by the nickname..yah that was who i always felt i was... therfore i felt unworthy.. today, i feel unworthy because i see that frens have beautiful souls.. yeah the exterior i dun care about anymore... but its like god sent specially chosen guardian angels to give up their wings to be with me...
i'm sleepy now, cant freakin keep my eyes open.. i will continue with this deep conversation some other day ciao~!  ¶ 9:04 AM