I am with you always. its been a real long time since i posted something decent and i apologise for that. Although i really should be sleeping right now, i feel compelled to share about the roller coaster week i've been experiencing. I think it was 2 posts ago when i said i din like to post abt bad days and its still true just that i have to kinda talk about it now for the sake of relavance..

So i was in pretty bad shape beginning of the week. I just really wanna do well in school this sem so i've been pushing myself pretty hard and its really getting the better of me and i'm starting to worry the pple ard me cause i look completely shagged everytime they see me in school. The beginning of term printing and tut registration frenzy really dun help too but Tut Registration is really my Mini Miracle 1 because (Thanks GOD) i got my stuff settled way before most people, thus saving me from the tension and nerves. Next thing is $$ woes..ok it may seem like i'm over reacting..i know my dad is not jobless or anything at the moment but as the eldest daughter, i take it upon myself to try and take less money from the parents..i've stopped the maniac shopping cold turkey and am trying to refrain from asking for more allowance although 50 a week is getting hard to maintain..So i was kinda upset that kiasu pple had q-ued an hour in advance for second hand book sale..i was so eyeing the $51 text cause without co-op card its like 98 bucks lor so i missed out on the sale and was in a dilemma on whether or not to but the silly text. Then Thursday came and my morale and mood for the week totally PLUNGEd.. I woke up early so that i could be early for LSM2101 lect that morning. The moment i stepped outta the house though, it started pouring real heavily the umbrella was of no use what so ever and my jeans were soaked within minutes. I couldn't walk fast because my sandals were slippery from stepping into puddles..to top it all off, i had to walk all the way to the 963 bus stop and along the way at least 4 cars zoomed past me and splashed tons of water on me. Frankly at this point my mood was still ok..not that rock bottom yet cause i knew malaysia needed the rain and chose to laugh at the whole situation. However, my jeans started to smell because they were not drying properly and my shoulder was killing me because i had brought my lap top to register for pract.. i had to go ikea some more to get some house hold stuff..gloves and bulbs..and what not..so by the time i returned home, i was severely pooped and my shoulder was bruised and even bleeding slightly from the bag..i started feelin kinda i guess unappreciated would be the right word to use but i din sare to voice it out because it sounds a lil conceited lor..like doing things and expecting something in return..i guess it had very much to do with the bad day..but i tot that i actualli dragged myself to ikea and back despite being tired, wet, smelly, and hurting..anyway nobody said thanks so i swallowed my feelings and went on with life..finding it real hard to be optimistic.Then i thought maybe i could persuade everyone to go watch dim sum dollies with me..after all 30 plus bucks ain much to pay to watch such a critically acclaimed local production at the esplanade mah..Now i seriously got pissed when one by one the members of my family blew me off with lame excuses..dad said" huh weekend arh we always got so many engagements on weekends" (f.y.i weekend engagements include market on sat morn and church on sun morning) Mum was even better she actualli told me "theatre was not her thing..and that she would pay that kind of money to watch that kind of show" NUMBER 1 its 30 bucks!?! and Number 2, i know my mother she IS into theatre she is frankly just too stingy to pay for the tix.SO i was fuming really..esp after all i had been thru on that day..but during CG i received assignment to be tolerant of family members so although i was this close to yelling at her, i swallowed it all down and went to my room. Its not healthy i tell you cause i was so angry my hair was already standing and i was actually more hurt then angry..my mum was the one would influenced me into liking musicals and theatre and now she looked me in the face and told me a complete lie..theatre is not my thing..why not just tell me i only enjoy talking about how i love and appreciate such stuff just that i think its too much money and trouble to actually attend the play. I went to my lappie, tired, stressed, angry, hurt, emotional, feeling like a loser for putting myself through all these, feeling unappreciated and feeling guilty for feeling unappreciated.

So that was the shape i was in.. BAD..
And then i ended up winning a pair of tickets to Dim sum Dollies that very night.
I managed to get the text i needed for only $50 and its brand new.
I got my father to buy a decent canon all-in-one printer.
I had the best night of my life at the esplanade with the Dim Sum Dollies. (the 1st time since a very long time where i really laughed hard)
I managed to hear myself on the radio.
I had Tan Kheng Hua call me in the middle of stats lect to tell me where to collect my tickets.

Anyway once my mum found out about the free tix, suddenly theatre became her thing again. She got so excited in fact my father too and she is still raving about the performance even now.I really took the opportunity to tell her how angry and hurt i was when she made up the silly excuse the other night. I told her she should probably think twice before saying something so insensitive again. I think she got the message. I also learnt a valuable lesson. Since i enjoy the arts so much, nothing should hold me back from catching such performance..yeah even if i have to go alone, i shall because our local acts are good and they deserve the support. I also met 3 frens from CSS and i took it as a sign that maybe he's already arranged company for me. The most valuable lesson of all, i realised that these things that happened to me were nothing short of mini miracles and i'm not going to say i was lucky when in fact i was really blessed. I really want to give thanks and praise to God because he's made me feel loved, happy, and appreciated when no one else saw that it was important to make me feel that way. I am consoled that even if everyone i love should abandon me i am always his beloved. I'm not being over dramatic here if you've ever fell rock bottom and then rose back on the top of the world, you;d know exactly what i'm talking about.  ¶ 9:06 AM