the television OFFENDED me. As i lie on my bed, blasting "Run to you" on my JVC CD/VCD player, i can't help feeling slightly offended. No.. its not because the singers sound bad.. they sound great in fact..it because of this silly show i just caught on TV while on my study hiatus..
"Mei4 Li4 Bai3 Fen1 Bai3" (omg my han yu pin yin is down the drain!)
I can for the life of me remember the english name of that demeanin show.. Project Beauty or something.
Aniways.. the story goes that this girl..wanted to lose weight because..(heres the best part) her father in law says she needs to lose weight.. ok i must admit i only caught bits and pieces but during the final review they actually asked whether the father in law appraoved of her new figure and he kept smiling and saying tat he did ( OF course lah national TV leh) then the girl said.. when she used to go over for dinners previously, her father in law would pat her on the shoulders and remind her to lose weight.. Mind you arh..this lady is not FAT fat..shes like big size but not.. two bus seats fat ok..

I was just thinking, isn't it awfully sad that not only must fat women endure judgment from strangers they meet everyday, from people they know, sometimes even from family members and NOW they have to lose weight in order to qualify as prospective daughter in law.. Hmmph WTF (pardon me) But on NATIONAL TV.. they are telling children and teens everywhere that TRUE LOVE is INADEQUATE.. Yes you LOVE each other but i'm sorry kiddo it ain gonna be enough until you lose weight... (HUH!?!??!) I wonder wonder wonder if her husband to be has even defended her before..*roll eyes* If My husband to be ever dares to suggest that i lose weight in order to please his parents then God help me.. I will make him swallow our engagement ring..

I just feel so disappointed in this world we live in. How can they teach people to be so shallow??? i just don;t geddit.. take Villa Wellness for example... first they get David Gan hurl tactless insults at the girls then they portray the girls as desperate losers fawning over Jon Johnson.. Now this week they feature videos from home.. in a supposed touching scene, a mother tells her daughter that even if she fails to lose weight, shes still her daughter... ok IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THAT A GIVEN!??!?!?! Will any mother tell her daughter to scram if she doesn;t lose the weight..??? why must they make it seem like it was extra generous of that mother to say that?? GEEZ..

i just can't help getting upset and i know it seems petty but despite what my frens and family say, I'm fat and i know it. I tried losing weight yes i've suceeded in losing the major excesses but i'm stuck in a place where i put on weight the moment i let myself indulge a lil.. i can't even afford to give myself a break..no stress or comfort food.. the last time i threw caution to the wind, i regretted... i've thought of just giving up..because its easier if i dun have to watch every single mili calorie.. but the thought of having to endure the stares..and being transparent..and having sales people look down on me, i just dun think i can take it.. call me a hypocrite or desperate loser.. i guess i do what i can..and take comfort in the fact that there are people who love me for who i am.. and yes jesus loves me yes i know..  ¶ 6:01 AM